My Special Place by Sophie Moore
I got out of the car and I felt the relaxing sand rush between my toes. I heard the crashing waves push angrily together. I immediately got into my togs ,grabed my boogie board, and set off in the nice cold relaxing ocean.
when I hear paul shout “dinner time” so I run as fast as I can to my delicious KFC tea. I scoffed and crunched I love KFC it tasted yummy. I loved the burger and fries as well. when id finished eating my splendid dinner it started getting chilli.
Then in the distance we saw someone pull up a little grey shark struggling like a tiny worm trying to wiggle away, The shark wasn't happy but they let it back in the water now he's happy and so was I, wriggling away into the cold sea.
the sky turned to beautiful
red,pink,blue and purple colours it was amazing the clouds were covered
with a blanket of great colours and over the horizon there were dolphin playing around and seagulls squawking away this looks beautiful I never want to leave the best place in the world.
Star - I like how you have put in some wow words in your writing.
ReplyDeleteStar - I also like that you have put in good punctuation.
Wish - maybe change the colors to one.
Star - I like how you have put in some wow words in your writing.
ReplyDeleteStar - I also like that you have put in good punctuation.
Wish - maybe change the colors to one.
star - I like how you have good wow words in your writing
ReplyDeletestar - I also like how you have sorted your writing into paragraphs.
wish - maybe change the colors to one color.
STAR:I like the way you Add some detait like beautiful and outher wordes.
ReplyDeleteMEADIL:you did good at adding heaps of detail.
MISSON:add more sentenses and more describing word.
nice job
Star - I love the describing words: Example Crunched , struggling.
ReplyDeleteStar - I also like how you have put in different paragraph starters.
Wish - Maybe Change You writing so then it all the same color.
1st star i like how you described how the little shark was wiggling around like a worm.
ReplyDelete2nd star i like how you said the colours of the sunset.
wish if u could do it again how would u do it.